This is gonna sound like the MOST retarded thing you might ever hear but woodpeckers scare me. I thought these were little birds that liked to peck small holes in trees but my father had to enlighten me and tell me there were blippin' HUGE birds. Like... BIG. I realize there are smaller varieties but the ones we get her in AL are big. I don't like that. That freaks me out. I don't want to see any bird like the 'pecker that's like the size of a a small monkey. NOT.COOL.

Oh, and I saw an armadillo on the side of the road today (sadly, he was dead) and I was like, "OMFG!!!! THEY HAVE STRIPED TAILS THAT ARE POINTY!!!! DO.NOT.LIKE!!!" I get all weird over shit like that. Ocelots are cute as hell but their weirdo stripes and spots freak me out. Zebras freak me out. Badger faces freak me out. There is something in my head that goes all weirdo over patterns with huge possitive/nagative space ratios. It may stem from this unnatural fear I had as a kid (and still do) about cracks in caulking on the wall that caused some weird black/white effect.



My dad is insistent that I sing next week at church and I'm all like UHHHH... I can sing quite alright but my 1/2bro Justin is the typical Southern Baptist church singer and he's the child of the church so I'm waiting to get compared to him. I get all nervous and sing too high and I squeak and turn retarded. Hopefully I can get my dad to help me practice in the week. It's a killer song and one of my long favorites so I have to do right by it.

There's a lady at the church, Kim, who is like my older, kindred spirit. She's so awesome. I've never been all OMG over church ppl but I think I love her. She was telling me how when she first met me she thought that I was gorgeous and that she'd known me forever. She's so awesome. She wears pants to church like me and has short hair like me. In a church where it's only dresses for girls and either really long hair or looking dowdy, we stand out. She even has a tattoo! If God ever wanted to send someone my way for me to connect with, it's her. I value what she says so much. She's just awesome. She doesn't come at me like some bad person who has finally found Jesus or something but as someone she feels has so much potential and she truly cares on a personal level and not because she feels the need to save my soul. That's refreshing. She's just great. :)

I think I'm gonna write a bit of some stuff soon and if you want to read go to nicono9. We'l see how that turns out. :)

Lovely ppls, thank you guys for reading and coming at me with such cool comments. Thanks for putting up for my BS and drivel-spewing. That's always nice. haha

PS: I say zeh-bra not zee-bra. I have no idea why.

Tags: freak

Back Story: So it's St P's day and I was out with friends. Been drinking the green beer, traveled all over the county on multiple burn runs, etc. Well, finally, I go back to my car and decide that I'll run over to Pelham and see what's up at the ol' Waffle House. Of course, I'm high as fuck and since weed makes me paranoid in general, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing Mark there. "Fair enough, tho," I thought. "It can't be too bad. At least I'm not sober..."

Well, it's all cool for like... 5 seconds. Randomly, he starts talking about his ex-gf. (Back back story: he's like 43 and his gf was 28 and he's weird as hell and she acted like a spoled 12 year old. Aside from this, I've talked to Mark plenty of times about shit but normally I'm dexed to all hell so... not cool.) Well, he's vexed over some shit and I'm zoning out (would have been so much better had I had the $1.41 to buy a cup of coffee) but I keep hearing him, in his sloooooow speech and LETS.ENUNCIATE.EVERYTHING. mannerism, "You STUPID.BITCH." Then somehow we start talking about his mom and how she is all up in his koolaid and how that led to him really hating women (which I was already guessing way before he told me). He said he was a player but nice about it and blahblahblah. I even get some sort of commentary on wet dreams.

But I've officially heard the creepiest thing that could ever be said:

If I wasn't such a nice guy, I'd probably be a rapist.

WHO THE FUCK TELLS THIS TO A GIRL??? And he's so into me it makes me nauseous. Seriously, tho. Did I miss the memo about telling me shit like this? And WHY THE HELL would you say something like that AT ALL?! That's like telling a lady that you'd like to bang & who has kids, "Yeah, if I wasn't such a nice guy, I'd probably molest your cute daughter there. Wink wink..." I mean, I already have some weird fear/hangup about guys in the first place and that was like, "Oh god... Gotta run..."

OMFG... Yeah... I got out of there quick. I won't be going back there w/o my bro, Jeremie, KC, or some combo of the three. *shudder*

Tags: freak